NEGOTIATING WITH OUR PETS - part 2 - Gathering information and Influencing behavior
Have you discovered THEIR highest value REWARDS and how you can use those to their benefit? Have you figured out WHAT is in it for THEM when using a particular behavior like barking, pushiness, resource guarding, or running away and hiding? Pretend to be a Forensic Behaviorist and become a good guesser!
Are they having fun or are they taking the house hostage?
The answer is: PROBABLY BOTH.
Acknowledge straightaway that they have skin in the game. * Show them what the rewards are for playing well. * Make sure the reward is what they would choose. * Give them agency and control over their choices. * Then they will want to play with you and do as you request again and again and again.
“Negotiation serves two distinct, vital life functions – information gathering and behavior influencing – and includes almost any interaction where each party wants something from the other side.” Again quoting Chris Voss – FBI and NYPD hostage negotiator.
This is exactly why we are here, as Pet People = to gather information from our Animals and influence their behavior. Here is the premium “get you down the road faster” teaching aid AKA: influencing behavior = First and foremost,
LET THEM CHOOSE THEIR OWN REWARDS.
#1 - Play – You rolling around on the floor is often popular. Play bows too. Elbows off the ground with butts up and wagging. Mirroring what they do! Tug is not all negative so long as THEY do not escalate. If they do = game over. Cue the moment maybe by saying: game over. Either remove the toy, yourself, or both. Do they like physical contact? Hugs and rubs? Puzzles? Smells? Chase? Agility? Hide ‘n’ seek? Go FISHING with you Cat. FLIRT with them. LURE them to where you want them – cue the action - cue the location - have a jackpot (toy, treat, person) waiting! Try Dancing with a Dane! Or Singing with a Huskie. Seriously, have fun or Have Serious Fun!
#2 - Toys – Lay out 3 or 4 different toys a few feet apart. Now let your Dog or Cat choose their favorite. Idea – when they are finished for the day; hide this toy for future rewards. Have new toys available, including DIYs. Later, think of pulling out their favorite toys when needed. They quickly remember the happy memory they have about their experience with this toy. HAPPY VOICES WORK TOO. (Has to be genuine – they can spot a phony) Enjoy the reactions. Tug toys can serve as an excellent stepping stone to training for = Go Get Me a Beer! Play tug. Add this toy to the refrigerator door handle or a cabinet. Teach tug there. Put a treat or toy on an otherwise empty shelf. Reward! Switch out for almost empty water bottle. Then a beer can! You may have to add more increments, more steps. But this is the gist of it. I have taught this technique to military families who have a loved one deployed. Kids teach this well and love to show it off = essentially teaching others.
#3 - Food – You can start there but quickly move on from that – for many reasons. Trust me, please. OK first – they often perform for the food and not for the activity itself. Second – they could get pissy when you don’t reward with food. Third – food can be dangerous to use. Fingers represent food and often smell like a snack. Could bring on jealousy, rivalry, and unhealthy leadership changes. Worst of all is when (not if) your Animal develops expectations rather than appreciation. They “perform” for the food and not for the enjoyment of the actual activity. Let the behavior be the reward.
Test your theories as often as you can. Reinforce that happy state of being. Let the students take you for a walk, play fetch, leave it, find it, run agility. Be an Einstein. He always purported our own imagination was more important than anything we could memorize from someone else’s teaching. Use your imagination and play. Pretend if you have to. Capture the happy moments – Recall and reuse as needed.
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Success is not obedience - it is a happy team.
DO YOU TRUST ME? Then try this combo on any Canine, Feline, or Equine you are having difficulty with = Yes- consider this a CHALLENGE, a 10-day CHALLENGE… if you see no improvement in 10 days to whatever problem you are having, in any location = shelter, rescue, hospital, clinic, training facility, emergency situations = I will immediately refund your money = less shipping because we never ask for the bottles back.
One stipulation = No harmful, painful or fearful tactics can be used in any way. No prongs, chokes, shocks, loud noises, intimidating gestures, etc. DIRECTIVE =- If you are not seeing improvement within first 5 days – call me and we can see how to overcome any obstacles. We are all in this for them, right? 760-728-9900
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Love doesn’t mean we always know what we are doing;
it means we are willing to learn.